Can relationship issues cause depression?

Apart from genetic factors or other health conditions, depression often arises from the emotional, physical, and mental blind spots (disconnections) we develop to survive. These blind spots serve us initially but eventually disconnect us from essential parts of ourselves, costing us dearly over time. We all create these blind spots, which become the things “we don’t know we once knew.” Recognizing and honoring these blind spots through meaningful behavioral shifts is a powerful way out of depression.

According to my experience, here is what healing from there looks like in a relational context:

the clients do their part by reconnecting within themselves and the relationship. By acknowledging and honoring their needs and boundaries, they respond more effectively to external stressors or relational challenges. This reconnection also enables their partners to choose to engage meaningfully in the “renewed” relationship or not. Once the client’s reconnection work and the behavioral shifts are done, it becomes clearer whether the relationship should be sustained, reshaped, or ended. And the client is empowered and resourceful enough to make that decision.

I’m wondering about attachment and transference with the therapist and the idea of escape and fantasy? How much do you think your strong feelings, constant thoughts, desires to be with your therapist are a way to escape from your present life? I wonder if the transference serves another purpose than to show us our wounds and/or past experiences, but is a present coping strategy for managing what we don’t want to face (even if unconsciously) in the present—-current relationships, life circumstances, etc. Can anyone relate to this concept of escape in relation to their therapy relationship? How does this play out for you?

I wouldn’t say that relationship issues cause depression outright, except in abusive situations. However, even non-abusive relationships can trigger it. What I see in my sessions with clients is that depression usually comes from a preexisting disconnection within the person’s awareness, a vital part of themselves that needs healing. This disconnection can be on any level: physical, emotional, psychological, mental, experiential, relational… Intimate relationships can deepen or reveal this disconnection but don’t create it.